Happy #73: Have a happy Halloween. :-)

For tips on carving a pumpkin masterpiece, take a peek here.

And if you're out of time to carve pumpkins (or you're like me and your local grocer is sold out--yah, who sells out of pumpkins, right?), just find some orange something and splash it around. Anything. Uncarved pumpkins, potted fall flowers, candy corn, anything. (I'll post pictures of what I come up with. I'm going to have to get creative. Pumpkins sold out, and all...)

Then dress up. Eat pigs in a blanket and overdose on chocolate. And by all means, don't let the holiday slip by without listening to everybody's favorite musical Halloween treat: Michael Jackson's THRILLER. Better yet, rent the DVD and learn the dance.

Happy Halloween. :-)

Happy #72: Happy is as happy does.

Here I am in Edinburgh, Scotland--a priceless little jewel I found while visiting Scotland a month ago.

Edinburgh is incredibly beautiful and full of the placemaking charm I aspire to create with my work. It's remarkable. I loved it there. LOVED it. It's one of the places on earth everyone should visit. (That may be the little Scottish girl in me talking, the one wearing my family tartan kilt, but I'm just saying...) Needless to say, I'm going back soon. Did I mention I loved it? :-)

Every experience leaves it's print. And I can't say enough about the importance of making memories and filling your life with the adventure it requires to make them. But I'll say this with brevity: it's always worth the effort. Always. (Even when those plans don't turn out how you expected. Sometimes especially when those plans don't turn out how you expected.)

My train ride to Edinburgh, the discovery of this remarkable place, and the memories I made there lift my heart and mind every time I remember.

I try not to look back at life. But I find remembering happy times to be of value. Especially when it involves helping me move forward in creating something to look forward to and in making more meaningful memories.

So Happy #72 is this:

Make happy memories. Or at least remember the ones you have.

Dream a little. And make a plan. Then have a new adventure and make a memory.

Because happy is as happy does. :D

Happy #71: The Five Basic Tools for Happiness

I love these whales. They make me happy. : )

Do you remember what you were thinking right before you looked at this photograph? Ok, maybe your brain is working better than mine does most of the time. ;) My point is, you're likely thinking something different now. (Even if you could remember what you were thinking before...)

Changing your mind is key when it comes to happiness.

I've taught my children five basic tools to feel better when they don't. Because our feelings follow our thinking, I believe it's important to take accountability for our thoughts when we want to feel better.

It's a good time to review, since I've been referencing these principles/tools in my posts lately.

The five tools are these:

1. Find something to be grateful for.
2. Find something to look forward to.
3. Take care of yourself and get some sun. (Find something to eat, water to drink, get some exercise, get some sleep.)
4. Find something to do. (Work, fun, anything!)
5. Find someone to serve.

In essence, they all do the same thing. They get you thinking differently than you were a moment ago and they get you doing something.

So take accountability.

And get busy.

Just do it. : )

Happy #70: Find someone to serve.

I write on my walls. At one point I used Post-it notes. But eventually they fall down. So I just flat out write on the walls now. One of the things I have had up in writing around my house over the years is Serve Every Day and Serve Daily. You get my point.

Lately, I've been giving this particular focus and some purely magical things have been happening.

Happy #68 was about making plans. This post is about making plans to serve and the pure joy that can follow.

I planned to take my son Keaton to San Diego to visit Sea World. It's been awhile, it was his birthday, and he loves Sea World. I didn't plan on my friend Jane (who lives in San Diego) having a celebration party.

But life (happening as it does while we're making other plans), brought some wonderful experiences into our world. And because I was looking for ways to serve, very memorable things happened.

Keaton and I went to Sea World and had the best time together. It was wonderful! He made me reach into the water of the ray tank and touch them as they swam by. "You have to, Mom, for the experience," he said. "You know, participate." He's been listening. And what a joyful experience it was. : )

Jane was having her party the following night. I'm always a little awkward at parties, so I avoid them. (This probably surprises most of you.) In trying to say yes to life a little more often, I didn't avoid this one.

I had the thought that it would be nice for Jane to have a photographic book to remember the party by. (Mac has a wonderful publishing program I'm experimenting with.) So I took a few (Ok, 750) pictures.

This is Keaton playing the bongo drums for the first time in his experience on this planet. He was horribly offbeat, but Jane's guests loved him. And the party would not have been nearly as entertaining without Keaton. His choice to participate in this way was such a delightful surprise.

These are a couple of the new friends I made. (My friend Jane, our hostess, is in the background.) I wouldn't have missed meeting and getting to know them for anything.

This Mike and Kathleen, a couple who found each other later in life after other relationships ended. They have been together for six years, are madly in love, and one of most adorable couples I've ever met. They are darling and they gave me fresh hope for finding love when you think you never will.



These are the cupcakes a bakery chef brought to the party. And oh, my, word. Wow. Were they delicious. Wouldn't have missed those either. Seriously probably the best cupcakes I've ever eaten in my life. And I've eaten a lot of cupcakes. Including the 8 or 9 I ate at the party. ; )

Carla, the pastry chef. A very loving and giving woman.

Keaton and I. : )

These experiences happened because in trying to create a life that is meaningful and uplifting to those around me, I stepped outside my comfort zone and found ways to serve. In the process, I was uplifted and my life was blessed with meaning.

Funny how that works.

So Happy #70 is simply this: Find someone to serve.

It's one of my basics. And it always works.

Here's to a happy you! : )

Happy #68: Make some plans.

The Scotland countryside on a perfectly grey day. I plan to go back. Soon.

Twelve years ago my friend Peggy read the excerpt below (found in Time and the Art of Living, by Robert Grudin) in a magazine, then cut it out. She said it reminded her of me (I'm a planner), and that it made such an impact on her she wanted to keep it. Possibly forever. ;-)

Peggy reports, all these years later, she learned from watching me that planning can make you free. It's one of the five basic tools I prescribe for happiness: have something to look forward to. Needless to say, whether I actually do them or not, I plan lots of things to look forward to. Peg has kept the clipping in the front of her planner all these years.

During our conversation this evening about life and love, pain and heartache, the pursuit of happiness, the gift serving someone daily can be, and how difficult it is to stay focused on creating a meaningful life when you are hurting (for whatever reason), Peggy remembered this clipping and read it again to me.

“We alternately envy, praise and despise those people who plan ahead, who keep precise calendars of when they will be where, seeing whom and doing what. Yet in all these posturings, we tend to ignore a benefit of their behavior that is at once the simplest and the most spiritual: They can escape despair. They have cast towlines out to the future and can, when necessary, drag themselves through a becalmed or stormy present. And they have peopled the wilderness of things to come with images of themselves in action or relaxation.

People suspect that planning will shackle them, but this is almost never the case. If you make plans, you may always diverge from them, committing what is itself a pleasant act of freedom. If you do not make plans, you leave the future an empty field of change, forfeit to your own unpredictable moods. And you imply to yourself that the other two dimensions of time, past and present, mean less to you than they might or should.”

Enough said.

Make some plans. And give yourself something to look forward to.

With love from me to you. : )

Happy #67: Follow your own advice.

Wow. Has it really been over a month since I posted last? That is just wrong. ;-) Especially since I have SO many cool things to share with you.

Simply stated for the time being though, I've been following my own advice. (I highly recommend it.)

And in the process, I have had rich and wonderful and miraculous experiences having to do with living life well regardless of what life is throwing at you, and how to make changes so you feel better and life actually is better.

It's all in the gratitude, serving others, and in being willing to look at what else may be there at any given moment--as opposed to what you may be inclined to think (maybe perceive is a better word) is there...

Stay tuned. :-)

I love you.

Kathleen

Happy #66: Focus outside yourself.

Last post I shared pictures that were taken while Keaton, my friend Kiki, and I were visiting the fisherman's village in Stevenston, BC, Canada.

This post I want to show you a few of the images I was focused on when Kiki was taking my picture. For two reasons.
1. to show you what I was watching.
2. to make my point that focusing outside ourselves opens our world.

Keaton doesn't typically like me to take his picture. So I have to stand way back and use the zoom lens to capture him and what he's interested in.

Keaton as he made his way through the marina:


What he happened upon:







What I happened upon:



Precious.

Life can be a lot of things. But with all it is and all it brings, it's better when our focus is outside ourselves. My cousin Cathie shared a personal story recently that has had profound impact on me. She said (in summary) that the people we love can only be free when we are free.

So, since self absorption never made anyone happy (or free), focus outward. Besides, when you're trying to improve the lives, well-being, and self-worth of those around you, you are more open to life. And you never know what adventure you might happen upon. It just might surprise you. And delight you.

In Kiki's words (about the way things are on any given day), "It's just an opinion you have about the way things are going. Maybe things are going great and you just don't know it."

Thank you Cathie. Thank you Kiki. I love you both.

Life is beautiful. Focus outside yourself and open your world. Then drink it in.

Now turn up the music and go get the day! :D

Happy #65: Check in with people.

I'm back.

Not sure what the next post will be, or what Happy #65 is really about, except to say that the people you love need to hear from you.

So check in. (This is me checking in, btw.) I haven't thought much about being missed. (I know some people think about this. I don't.) But I have thought about how much I've missed you. I've thought about you every day. Even if I haven't mentioned it. I just wasn't sure what to say while I was going through my difficult time. So I didn't say anything. Don't be all shocked that I can actually keep quiet... ;)

However, that was then, this is now. I'm here. And I hope your day is spectacular. If it's not, please make it that way.

It's all we've got. :)

love,
kathleen

Happy #64: Ask yourself, "And how's that working for you?"

This should be so obvious. But it's not. Or at least it's not for me.

For whatever reason we tend to continue doing (or thinking) things that create difficulty in our lives. Old patterns, old ways of seeing, old habits, old thinking, old actions, old hanging on, OLD!!

Don't you prefer NEW? See? Even the word is more appealing.

I was having a conversation with my friend LaDawn and shared something with her that had been frustrating for me. She responded, "And how's that working for you Kathleen?" We both laughed. Through a different lens, I realized I was allowing an interaction/situation to continue in my life that clearly wasn't working for me. And suddenly it seemed ridiculous.

The choice was mine. So naturally, the frustration was my doing as well--since I was the one choosing to do things the same way. Why we continue in a path then bang our heads against the wall expecting an outcome other than the one we had before, I don't know. But we do. Insanity. ;)

We forget how powerful choice is. And we forget that there is always something coming along behind the choice. A consequence. A result.

Your life is the result of your choices, I often say. This can be a stretch to accept when things aren't going well. But the quickest way to turn things around is to make different choices.

Frustration is a little easier to change. Pain is a bit more difficult. But different choices can have different outcomes there too.

Both my daughters are away from home right now. Juliet is going to college in WA. Kelsie is serving a mission in Florida. I miss them both. Very much. But I can call Juliet. And text. And see her when I go to WA on business. As much as I miss Juliet, I am able to connect with her. So I am not feeling as much loss there.

Kelsie, however, is away and inaccessible for the next 17 months. She is permitted to write home once a week and she can call twice a year. A YEAR. On Christmas and Mother's Day.

I cannot begin to describe how painful this has been. And I have to be honest here, there has been more than one morning of tears with me struggling to get out of bed... I have had to force myself to do things. Literally, truly force myself.

I know enough about depression to understand my body is trying to manage the stress of loss. The cloud that feels so sad and hopeless is just the body's coping mechanism. I get this part. My brain suppresses everything to mitigate what I'm feeling. But for the life of me, I do NOT understand how that makes it more manageable. Because it feels like crap. And makes things worse, as far as I'm concerned.

However, this much I do know (coping mechanism aside), the choice to stay in bed and cry wasn't going to change anything. The work, my responsibilities to my children and my clients, would still be there. And so would everything else--dishes and laundry piling up as they do...

So I asked myself what I could do differently to ease what I was feeling. The pain didn't go away. But something good began to come of it. Making a shift and putting the energy towards a positive outcome (rather than the more stressful one of falling behind on everything) was a better choice to make.

I think it's a good question to ask ourselves, "And how's that working for you?" Whatever is going on, whatever the result is, how's it working? Is it working well?

Because our lives are the result of our choices. And sometimes making a change IS as simple as making a different choice.

The picture above is of the daisies outside my back door. I planted them three years ago and this is the first year they've really come in and bloomed with such beauty. They stand over 4' high. I've never seen daisies so tall. They are remarkable out there in the sunshine up against the red brick wall of my house.

I wouldn't have been able to enjoy the beauty of the moment had I stayed in my bed in tears.

I still miss Kelsie. Desperately. But I'm making good things happen anyway. I think she'd be proud of me.

It's Ok to take yourself out of something that's not working for you and put yourself into something that does.

And there's a big beautiful world out there.

Your choice. :D

Happy #63: Stop hanging on so long.

A friend of mine says good things come out of conflict. Conflict is hard on me--emotionally and physically. So this statement was difficult for me to understand.

But as I've thought about his statement over time, I've come to see how true it is.

He's a historian, so naturally there is far more information in his brain (about the results of conflict, or probably about anything for that matter, lol...) than exists in my brain. Which is why I couldn't see (especially with how difficult conflict is for me) how the statement regarding conflict could possibly be true. Because the eye cannot see what the mind does not know. Right?

But experiences I'm having recently are helping me see.

The Mussuei de Louvre in Paris has an extensive history, including several accounts of conflict. A story that interested me when I visited the Louvre was this one: the French didn't want the glass pyramid. They hated it.

And yet, surrender (clearly not their initial position of choice) brought something forward that is really very remarkable.

I was intriqued by the imaginative use of space below grade (for the museum) and the brilliant way I.M.Pei (the commissioned architect) brought light, transparency, and visual connection to that space with his design.

But the French resisted the concept. Entirely. They felt, as I understand it, a pyramid (and modern structure) didn't belong in the space or fit their history and how they see themselves. Also, from what I understand, there was a fair amount of distress involved. Why? Because hanging on in resistance creates stress. They were communicating what they wanted and needed, without effect. No wonder they were frustrated.

The glass pyramid was going to happen anyway, whether they liked it or not. I'm not saying this was right or wrong, good or bad. It's just what happened.

I'm not sure how to make my point here, except to say that sometimes it's good--after speaking up and speaking up and speaking up--to just let go and let something be what it's going to be.

Sometimes we hang on to something (or someone), trying to get what we need, for far too long. When in fact, letting go releases resistance, which can bring the right things about. Whatever that may mean or be.

This is not to say you should stop trying to get what you need. You always need to speak up for what you need. And want. Always.

I'm just saying stop hanging on so long to situations (and/or people) when you can't get what you need. Learn to let go. Maybe even walk away. Because sometimes getting what you need means getting it somewhere other than where you were looking.

This is me, hanging on, trying to get a picture with this sculpture without falling into The River Seine directly below.


Ridiculous.

Let go people.

It just might give you enough relief for happiness to find you again. And you might be surprised where the new direction letting go takes you. :)

Happy #62: Turn to the Source of peace.

Ok, I'm going apologize right now for how sappy this post may sound. But part of what makes this blog meaningful (at least for me) is my willingness to be honest about what I'm feeling at the time while sharing with you what helps me feel better.

This last month has been a very busy one. Getting my daughter prepared to go into the mission field was an exceptionally busy time. And busyness has a way of distracting you from emotion. Which can be good. So I didn't really have a ton of time to think about what was happening, or consider the emotion surrounding it.

Knowing the tidal wave that was headed my way, a friend offered to pay for me to take a trip. All expenses included. It was the most incredible gesture of kindness and generosity I think I've ever experienced. And while I was away (having left town the day after Kelsie reported to the MTC), I was distracted from the reality of having both my daughters gone. And distracted from the emotions that are a part of that reality...

But the train I was on (quite literally as I journeyed around England and France) had to arrive at it's destination eventually. And when the it did, at 5:30 this morning, the tidal wave I was running from caught up to me.

Waking up and feeling the weight of it, I cried and cried. I tried to think my way out of it. I tried to busy myself with everything that needs my attention here at home. Nothing helped.

That's when I got on my knees and prayed.

In the moments that followed, I was reminded that turning to the Source of peace, our Savior Jesus Christ, we can find the comfort we need when nothing else works. The words to this hymn (Where can I turn for peace) came to mind.

Where can I turn for peace?
Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,
I draw myself apart,
Searching my soul?

Where, when my aching grows,
Where, when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand?
He, only One.

He answers privately,
Reaches my reaching
In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind,
Love without end.

Text: Emma Lou Thayne

When I began to feel peace through the One who is my source, the next thought I had was of gratitude. Naturally, my thoughts turned to the people in my life. And I was able to see the enormous outpouring of love and support that came through Him at the hands of my family and friends in my time of need.

I wrote a huge paragraph here sharing everything everyone has done recently that served to uplift me this morning. When it turned into a publishable book, I decided to let you all know personally and in private. :)

But let me just this: You make a difference. A big one.

Thank you.

I feel your love.

Happy #61: Leave something of yourself.

I know it 's been awhile. I got busy. And I got bored with myself.

But there's something I'd like to share with you.

On a few memorable occasions, I have been deeply moved by particular pieces of art. Inclined to favor pastoral images (especially those with water) and portraits if they captured color or light in a way that caught and kept my attention, I consistently brushed by other works of art.

This was a mistake.

Viewing Van Gough's Poplars (on exhibit at the University of Utah some time ago) I had my first experience feeling the energy of art. I can still see the droplets of apple green paint so thick with texture and vivid with color the painting looked like it had just been finished days earlier. (A picture is not included. I couldn't find one worthy to match my memory of the experience.)

This piece truly affected me. I could almost feel Van Gough painting. I will never forget the painting or the feeling I had looking at it.

Van Gough's A Wheatfield with Cypresses at the National Gallery of Art in London (one of the 30 most expensive paintings in the world, a mere $84,000,000.00) struck me much the same way. As did Monet's Bathers at La Grenouillère.

Absorbing these works of art I reflected again on the lives of the artists. Especially Van Gough. I am moved by the masters of these pieces. Not only because they produced remarkable art worthy of gracing galleries all over the world, but because in spite of what they endured personally, these people did something with their work and with their lives that has endured.

They pushed through whatever life was for them and they left something of their lives that contributes to ours. And this is what is worthwhile to me. That we can stand and behold work that is beautiful and meaningful, whomever we are and whatever appeals to us personally, because of what they did.

So here's my happy suggestion #61: Leave something of yourself. And I'm not talking about candy wrappers on the nightstand. Some one thing that will endure. Dig out that paintbrush or drawing pencil or whatever and get to work.

You may not think your work will have any significance. But if it comes from you, it has you in it. And that is significant. And worthwhile.

Even if it's simple. Maybe especially if it's simple.


Mark Rothko's White Center (Yellow, Pink and Lavender on Rose). Painted 1950. Recently sold for $75,000,000.00. (Also one of the 30 most expensive paintings in the world.)

Just do it.

Happy #59: Don't give up.

I'm still here. And so are you.

There's something to be said for that. Clearly there must be, since I bothered to write about it... :)

Not sure I know what it is just yet, but that's Ok.

It's Ok. We're Ok.

You, me, and my about to be a missionary daughter trying to get away with wearing a lime green (as opposed to the recommended Nun-like black or brown) blazer to the Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah. Lol.

We're all Ok. Especially Kelsie in the lime green blazer.

I'll post a picture later. :)

Happy #58: Take the long view and ride the wave.

It all comes and goes. Do you remember what you were doing or what you were feeling or what you were thinking three months ago today? Three weeks ago? Yeah. I didn't think so. Neither can I.

My point is, it's easy to get overwhelmed with life and events, responsibility and obligation, relationships and emotion while we're in the middle of whatever. And we forget that everything comes AND goes. But giving some thought to the scripturally based concept, "And it came to pass...", can help us keep perspective regardless of the waters we're riding and what we're experiencing in the moment.

So if it's smooth sailing today, be grateful and happy. If not, it will be again. So be grateful and happy anyway. :)

There is always something to be grateful for when you take the long view. Especially when you stop to consider that all we've really got is what we've got right now, in this moment.

Life is a ride. And it all works out.

So take the long view and ride the wave. :)

Happy #57: Do something brave.

In the 1920's, carrying what little she owned and her twin baby boys, my grandmother, twenty-five year old Mary Anne (Molly) Murphy, left an abusive husband and her home in Ireland, boarded a ship in England and sailed across the sea. Uncertain of the outcome, she had hope that whatever lay over the ocean was better than what lay behind.

I am certain that leaving her history, her family, and her beloved green hills of Ireland was difficult for Molly to do. She loved Ireland. LOVED it. I have no idea what compelled her to make the decision she did. But I know enough about her life to know circumstances were not favorable for her. And I know that Molly, my grandma, a single mother, poor, and with little more than a grade school education, was strong enough to make choices to better her life.

With hope on the horizon, she made a decision and carried out an action that changed her life. In the process she changed mine and the lives of my children.

She set the mark of bravery for me.

So here's my happy suggestion for today: Do something brave. Do something to change your life.

Because you have no idea how that bravery will impact the lives of those who follow you.

All aboard! :)

Happy #56: Make a memory.

You never know when the rain and clouds are going to move in and swipe away your springtime warmth and sun. So It's nice to have memories to draw from to put the sunshine back in your soul.

So here's my happy regardless suggestion for today, whatever the weather may be where you are: make a memory. A good one. With loved ones. Bake, talk, laugh, take ridiculous pictures. Gather your loved ones in whatever way you can (even if it's just a phone call) and seize the day. Give yourself the gift of having a fun experience to look back on.

And people, learn to laugh at yourself. Check out the picture of me above. My pants are undone (too much lunch?) and you can see my jeans poking out my shirt. Lol. Hilarious.

The beautiful thing is, every day holds the opportunity to make memories.

You are my sunshine. :)

Happy #55: Know what you love.

If you have any hope of getting what you need from those around you, you have to know yourself, know what you want or need, and be able to clearly communicate those needs to your loved ones.

That said, there was a time in my life when I couldn't get what I needed, regardless of how clear I was. My (then) mother-in-law taught me a very valuable lesson at the time that is well worth sharing. She said, "Kathleen, when you can't get what you need from the people who should be giving it to you, you need to go and get it for yourself. Make your own happiness. Don't wait for others to make it for you, or you'll be disappointed for the rest of your life." Joyce was wise. I'm so happy we're still friends--regardless of the outcome of my marriage to her son.

Life is different for me now than it was then. I can get what I need now. My children know I love flowers and help in the garden. So that's what they gave me this year in honor of the day. (Don't hate me because my daughter is an off the charts talented floral designer...) Yesterday they painted the garage. And now they're downstairs in the kitchen, working together seamlessly to prepare a wonderful meal. I am so grateful for them all. They are amazing. And the greatest gifts of my life.

Anyway, I wanted to share some of my Mother's day with you.

Why? Because the fact that I can get what I want and need from the people in my life (when this wasn't always the case), gives me hope that others can too.

Happy Mother's Day.



Kelsie, the creator of these spectacular floral displays, at the end of Mother's Day. Getting what she needs... ;)

Happy #54: Simply serve.

Ok. I know I've said this in a number of ways as it relates to happiness. But today's experience newly defines service for me as one of the key ingredients to a life fulfilled.

I've been praying for crisper focus in the use of my time. Last night one word came to mind. Just one word. Serve.

Serve? WHAT?!? Like I don't? And how do I fit more service into a life already full of responsibility to family, home, work, education, and yes, SERVICE?!?!?

I was stunned. But truthfully, even in my deer in the headlights state, I don't think I've ever heard it so clearly and felt it so simply as I did last night. And I need to be honest here. It felt a bit overwhelming. I even thought for minute about being offended. I did. Since, you know, I serve...

However, tempted as I was, I didn't take offense. Instead, I went to sleep thinking of ways to fit more service in. And all that that would mean. Since more must mean more, right?

But more isn't always more. Sometimes more is actually less. It's just more deliberate. Purposeful. Mindful.

This morning something came to me as I was proceeding with my day. It was this: Serve from who you are.

I was running a work errand and happened upon the delightful little package of cookies in the photo above. They were so charming! I immediately began to think of someone I could give them to. Naturally, a suitable recipient popped to mind. So I bought them with plans to deliver them later today.

As I proceeded to make the purchase, I thought about service and about words I've heard a lot lately, "How can I help you?" I thought about how difficult that question is to answer. I always want help. And quite frequently need help. But I have a TERRIBLE time asking. And an even more difficult time drumming up a response when there is a well meaning offer.

When someone asks me how they can help me (or worse says, "Let me know if there's anything I can do for you!"), I feel uncomfortable, awkward, and a little bit embarrassed. Why? Because I should be able to manage my life all by myself.

But I can't. And heads up? Neither can you.

We all need help. We do. And we can uplift and help each other in so many, many ways. In as many ways as there are people on this planet, really.

Think of the good we could do in small and simple ways if we would just serve from who we are, in the ways that come to our minds to serve? In the ways that are natural for us? If we would just simply serve?

Because then, like with me buying those adorable cookies and feeling pure delight in doing it, ways of serving are natural. And serving "more" becomes natural too. There is ease. It just fits into the crevices of life. Like ice cream after a delicious dinner.

You may not see those cookies and think to give them away. Because that may not be you. But something about you and what comes naturally for you can benefit and uplift another human heart.

So, simply serve. In your way. Whomever and in whatever way comes to mind for you.

You will love how it makes you feel. And the one you serve will love it too.

There is happiness here, in serving, in giving and receiving love.

Give giving of yourself a whirl. :)

Happy #53: Pay attention to the real spring around you.

It's snowing again in consistently surprising Salt Lake City. I've been keeping my windows open at night to offset the hot flashes. (Too much information, I'm sure. But this is my blog. Lol.)

Anyway, last night it got COLD. So freshing... When I woke up, the trees were flocked once more in the ever delightful greatest snow on earth. Light, fluffy, powder. Who could ask for more on a fresh (very nearly May) spring morning?

It reminded me of a day not too many days ago when I was looking out my kitchen window as I did the morning dishes.

The sun was streaming in, setting my dish water bubbles ablaze with rainbows. The sky was blue, blue, blue and the pear tree in my back yard was budding the most magnificient spring green. Off to the left in my yard is a HUGE plum tree. It is probably the size of my garage. I'm not kidding. It sits on my neighbor's land and spreads it's draping branches over the area I would like to see become a flagstone patio. I love it.

On this day, the tree was especially spectcular. It was bursting with enormous, white blooms. Explosive with blossom. Explosive. I am unable to draw up the words to adequately describe it because it looked like heaven to me. And it was one of the most stunning, beautiful things I've ever seen.

I thought in the moment that I needed to go and take a picture so I could share it with you. But I was doing the dishes and I wanted to finish. And, I thought, this illustrious display of spring will be here for a few days so I have time to take a picture.

That's what I thought.

So I finished the dishes. And although I can't remember, I'm sure I finished several other things as well. But I didn't get the picture.

Ever.

A windstorm came up that night and blew all the blossoms off the tree. When I got up the next morning and stood again at my kitchen window I was so saddened by the lost opportunity to capture something that was so uplifting to me. I said to Kelsie, "I just didn't know they'd be gone so soon."

I realized the moment I said those words how true that is for the people in our lives. The real moments of splendor and beauty and new life of spring.

We don't know how long we have someone. And we're always so busy doing things, finishing stuff, paying attention to matters that don't matter nearly as much as the people around us.

We're always surprised by the sudden departure of someone close. We all seem to say the same thing. We didn't know they'd be gone so soon...

So on this spring day, whatever the weather may be where you are, pay attention to the real spring around you. The real life. The people. The essense of this world that makes the real difference.

There's another 2" of snow on the ground in my yard. And on my blossoms of spring.

But you are the real spring in my heart.

And I'm so happy you're still here.

Share the love. :)

Happy #52: Give.

What says privilege like a Lear jet? That's Juliet and Christy adorning those perfectly crafted leather seats. And me, the flash in the mirror capturing the memory.

Drum up $12,000,000.00 and you can have a Lear for yourself. Yes. That's right. Twelve million dollars. An Ivy league education? Pocket change.

It's all relative.

For most in this country, if you're managing to keep your mortgage paid and escape foreclosure during this economic uncertainty, you're doing well. That said, 20% of humanity (that's us) hoards and holds 83% of the world's wealth. On average, even if you're poor in America, you're wealthier than 75% of the world's population.

Gratitude for what we have is a good thing to have. Because we have a lot. Even if it's not a Lear. And you don't know poverty until you've seen real poverty.

We had a wonderful time on this airplane. Don't get me wrong. It was an exceptional experience to draw from in thinking bigger than we have been. But to think bigger for the means to do good. To give. To share. To help others have a better life.

Years ago someone said to me (when I suggested wishing I could do more), "It's not how much you would do with more, it's what you're doing now with what you've got."

What do we do with what we've got? This weekend one of the Beauties in the photo said, "When I pass a homeless person I may feel I don't have the cash to give, but sometimes I have an apple. Or a muffin. And I can give that. I think it's just the giving that counts."

She's right. It is the giving that counts. And that we give in whatever way we can. To all of our brothers and sisters in our human family.

In response to the current political environment, my fellow planning commissioner Mary Woodhead posted this note on her Facebook. It reads:

"As we listen to talk of secession from the Tea Party and the importance of state rights, let's remember the real horror of the Confederacy. From the Texas declaration of secession: "...in this free government *all white men are and of right ought to be entitled to equal civil and political rights* [emphasis in the original]; that the servitude of the African race, as existing in these States, is mutually beneficial to both bond and free, and is abundantly authorized and justified by the experience of mankind, and the revealed will of the Almighty Creator, as recognized by all Christian nations; while the destruction of the existing relations between the two races, as advocated by our sectional enemies, would bring inevitable calamities upon both and desolation upon the fifteen slave-holding states...."

I am appalled people actually thought and believed this. Then again, the whole idea of slavery is appalling to me. I've never understood racism. Or prejudice. And I do not understand the mudslinging and heated argument that goes on over issues like the ones our country is facing right now.

But I think it's fear related. And people will always find something to fear if that is where their brain is inclined to go. Fear of the loss of freedom, the loss of personal rights, loss of property, fear of change. Fear of failure, fear of the uncertain, fear of rejection, the loss of love. I could go on, but I think that pretty much sums up racism, political divide, and every other social and personal ill.

Maybe if we pushed our fears aside we could find a little hope. Maybe if we thought of new ways to give (like the apple), new ways to share, new ways to love and serve and be open with each other, we would realize that we're all afraid together. Created equal. And in our mortal condition, equally afraid is my guess.

We can help each other. And with a little honesty we could actually talk. Communicate. Say something that would be meaningful and helpful to another human soul.

As I said in an earlier post, I'm not trying to solve the world's problems. Nor could I. And as I also said, that's not what this blog is about.

But when it comes to happiness, which comes from love, the pathway includes kindly giving to and lovingly caring for each other.

So give. Share. From what you have and from who you are. Because that's all we've got to give anyway, isn't it?

It's enough.

And it feels good.

Thanks for the cookies Mark. :)

'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

Happy #51: Spend time with people you love.

Christy, Juliet, Kiki (my neighbor) and I took a twenty minute drive across the border from Blaine, WA to the Vancouver, B.C. Temple open house. Who wouldn't want to drive along a bay of water that sparkles like a sheet of diamonds and end up at a temple where the chandeliers sparkle like a rainbow of jewels?





The day and the temple were simply exquisite. And the company, of course, was priceless.

Spend time with people you love.