Happy #81: Quietly voice your difference in thinking.

I don't get sick very often, but I came down with a terrible cold several days before Christmas. Not wanting to pass my illness around and wishing to limit the need to speak (because it hurt and because I sounded like a bar maid who smoked her whole life), I've been quiet and limited my social engagements for nearly two weeks.

It would have been an ideal time to write, had I been feeling better. But I wasn't. So I hung out with my children, lounged fireside watching movies, and napped for most the of the holidays.

But how long can you hibernate, really?

Medicating myself with about four over-the-counter cough and cold drugs a few nights ago, I went out for the evening with friends.

During dinner I was sitting across from Joe, 12, and his 9 year old brother, Sam.

Here they are, precious boys.



In the habit of being quiet, I mostly listened to others talk while we ate. The boys were engaging (very much a back and forth) with each other and with their dad. At one point Sam spoke, then listened for awhile to his father. He didn't interrupt. He didn't argue. He just listened.

When Bryan (Sam's dad) finished, nine year old Sam paused, looked directly at his father and said,

"I know how you think about it. I think about it differently."

And he went back to eating his dinner.

He was done. That was it. That was all he said. He didn't feel the need to explain or to try and change his dad's mind. It was enough for him to simply say he thought differently.

Priceless. And wise beyond his years, little Sam.

I knew immediately I wanted to write about it. So I pulled out my phone and snapped a picture for you. (Ok, I snapped several...)

I realize this has nothing to do with "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy New Year!" holiday wishes, but I think it's relevant to our season of change. And certainly relevant to learning. Which is what I want most these days.

I wonder what would happen if in our civic, social, and personal dialogue, we learned to respond the way Sam did when we disagree?

So Happy #81 is this: Quietly voice your difference in thinking. By quiet I don't mean silent. We can disagree kindly and respectfully, clearly and quietly. Like Sam did. Speaking up (or disagreement) doesn't have to mean argument.

A very happy New Year to you, btw. And all the very best for all of us in this bright and hopeful 2011.

Now, where's my Nyquil?