There is peace in truth.
This is not to say the truth is easy. Or even comfortable. Or convenient. But living a life for the benefit of other people at the expense of what you need never made anyone happy. (I'm not talking about service here.)
Many years ago I had a profound experience while standing in the Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C. It was a life altering moment.
Reading Jefferson's words inscribed on the wall, I understood for the very first time that I had a God given right to happiness. I came home from that trip with priceless clarity that God intended me to be happy. And wanted me to be. I also came home with the acute awareness that I had to choose it for myself, regardless of the difficulty of the choices involved.
I saw that nothing was going to happen to magically change my situation, much as I wished it would. And nobody was going to make choices that would free me from the painful decisions I didn't want to make.
The hand of God aside, only I had the power to change my life. Only I could choose happiness for myself. A gift, I came to realize, God gives his children in helping us understand the principle of accountability. You know, choice and accountability?? Why? Because other than God you are the only one who knows your heart and what you really need.
I learned that I needed to summon the courage and find the strength within myself to choose for my heart. I needed to take accountability for my own peace and happiness. (And misery, for that matter. But that's another post.)
I discovered that the path I needed to take to live my truth, in spite of how "wrong" it was for everyone else, was in fact the right choice. And as hard as it was to actually choose what I really wanted, God gave me the fortitude to step forward for myself. He was teaching me to be true to myself...
Here, I found happiness.
Choosing happiness can seem impossible when you feel stuck. The choice it takes to honor your heart and give voice to what you need for peace can be the most difficult choice you will ever face. (Especially when your choice bumps up against what everyone else thinks you should choose, or wants you to choose, or hopes you will choose for THEIR happiness.) But all things considered, a life without peace and happiness hasn't got much hope. And a life lived from duty will only get you so far.
Knowing the heart takes time. And a willingness to see the truth. Seeing the truth in a heart happens gradually until that crystal clear moment when suddenly you know and there is no turning back. In that moment, that perfectly clear moment, the honesty you find frees you.
"And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free." John 8:32
There is a feeling that follows truth, and the light of it changes everything. No matter how hard it was to see the truth and no matter how difficult it will be to make the choice.
Follow your heart.
It's the place of peace.
And the only way to happiness.
I agree 1000%. There is a hedge, though, that I discovered much later. It is encoded in the very difficult scripture that says 'whoso findeth his life shall lose it, but whoso loseth his life, for my sake, shall find it.' This is not an injunction to never seek your own happiness, to sacrifice it for others, though it is generally read that way. As you've said, one must be true to oneself or there is no happiness at all, there is sometimes hardly even a reality to live in. What I think it means to 'lose our life for His sake' means to lose, at times, our idea of our lives to the __very individual idea_- that God has for our lives.
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite authors, Isak Dinesen (Karen Blixen), said that these three things bring transporting joy: the cessation of pain, to feel within yourself an excess of strength, and to know that you are true to the idea that God had when He made you. This last matter is a very individual affair - it has little to do, and often runs deeply in opposition to, the ideas that an institution or another person will have of _what you are_.
Tom, thank you. And congratulations on your happily ever after with and marriage to my dear Katrina. Love at last!! I'm so happy for you both. :-)
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