Happy #73: Have a happy Halloween. :-)

For tips on carving a pumpkin masterpiece, take a peek here.

And if you're out of time to carve pumpkins (or you're like me and your local grocer is sold out--yah, who sells out of pumpkins, right?), just find some orange something and splash it around. Anything. Uncarved pumpkins, potted fall flowers, candy corn, anything. (I'll post pictures of what I come up with. I'm going to have to get creative. Pumpkins sold out, and all...)

Then dress up. Eat pigs in a blanket and overdose on chocolate. And by all means, don't let the holiday slip by without listening to everybody's favorite musical Halloween treat: Michael Jackson's THRILLER. Better yet, rent the DVD and learn the dance.

Happy Halloween. :-)

Happy #72: Happy is as happy does.

Here I am in Edinburgh, Scotland--a priceless little jewel I found while visiting Scotland a month ago.

Edinburgh is incredibly beautiful and full of the placemaking charm I aspire to create with my work. It's remarkable. I loved it there. LOVED it. It's one of the places on earth everyone should visit. (That may be the little Scottish girl in me talking, the one wearing my family tartan kilt, but I'm just saying...) Needless to say, I'm going back soon. Did I mention I loved it? :-)

Every experience leaves it's print. And I can't say enough about the importance of making memories and filling your life with the adventure it requires to make them. But I'll say this with brevity: it's always worth the effort. Always. (Even when those plans don't turn out how you expected. Sometimes especially when those plans don't turn out how you expected.)

My train ride to Edinburgh, the discovery of this remarkable place, and the memories I made there lift my heart and mind every time I remember.

I try not to look back at life. But I find remembering happy times to be of value. Especially when it involves helping me move forward in creating something to look forward to and in making more meaningful memories.

So Happy #72 is this:

Make happy memories. Or at least remember the ones you have.

Dream a little. And make a plan. Then have a new adventure and make a memory.

Because happy is as happy does. :D

Happy #71: The Five Basic Tools for Happiness

I love these whales. They make me happy. : )

Do you remember what you were thinking right before you looked at this photograph? Ok, maybe your brain is working better than mine does most of the time. ;) My point is, you're likely thinking something different now. (Even if you could remember what you were thinking before...)

Changing your mind is key when it comes to happiness.

I've taught my children five basic tools to feel better when they don't. Because our feelings follow our thinking, I believe it's important to take accountability for our thoughts when we want to feel better.

It's a good time to review, since I've been referencing these principles/tools in my posts lately.

The five tools are these:

1. Find something to be grateful for.
2. Find something to look forward to.
3. Take care of yourself and get some sun. (Find something to eat, water to drink, get some exercise, get some sleep.)
4. Find something to do. (Work, fun, anything!)
5. Find someone to serve.

In essence, they all do the same thing. They get you thinking differently than you were a moment ago and they get you doing something.

So take accountability.

And get busy.

Just do it. : )

Happy #70: Find someone to serve.

I write on my walls. At one point I used Post-it notes. But eventually they fall down. So I just flat out write on the walls now. One of the things I have had up in writing around my house over the years is Serve Every Day and Serve Daily. You get my point.

Lately, I've been giving this particular focus and some purely magical things have been happening.

Happy #68 was about making plans. This post is about making plans to serve and the pure joy that can follow.

I planned to take my son Keaton to San Diego to visit Sea World. It's been awhile, it was his birthday, and he loves Sea World. I didn't plan on my friend Jane (who lives in San Diego) having a celebration party.

But life (happening as it does while we're making other plans), brought some wonderful experiences into our world. And because I was looking for ways to serve, very memorable things happened.

Keaton and I went to Sea World and had the best time together. It was wonderful! He made me reach into the water of the ray tank and touch them as they swam by. "You have to, Mom, for the experience," he said. "You know, participate." He's been listening. And what a joyful experience it was. : )

Jane was having her party the following night. I'm always a little awkward at parties, so I avoid them. (This probably surprises most of you.) In trying to say yes to life a little more often, I didn't avoid this one.

I had the thought that it would be nice for Jane to have a photographic book to remember the party by. (Mac has a wonderful publishing program I'm experimenting with.) So I took a few (Ok, 750) pictures.

This is Keaton playing the bongo drums for the first time in his experience on this planet. He was horribly offbeat, but Jane's guests loved him. And the party would not have been nearly as entertaining without Keaton. His choice to participate in this way was such a delightful surprise.

These are a couple of the new friends I made. (My friend Jane, our hostess, is in the background.) I wouldn't have missed meeting and getting to know them for anything.

This Mike and Kathleen, a couple who found each other later in life after other relationships ended. They have been together for six years, are madly in love, and one of most adorable couples I've ever met. They are darling and they gave me fresh hope for finding love when you think you never will.



These are the cupcakes a bakery chef brought to the party. And oh, my, word. Wow. Were they delicious. Wouldn't have missed those either. Seriously probably the best cupcakes I've ever eaten in my life. And I've eaten a lot of cupcakes. Including the 8 or 9 I ate at the party. ; )

Carla, the pastry chef. A very loving and giving woman.

Keaton and I. : )

These experiences happened because in trying to create a life that is meaningful and uplifting to those around me, I stepped outside my comfort zone and found ways to serve. In the process, I was uplifted and my life was blessed with meaning.

Funny how that works.

So Happy #70 is simply this: Find someone to serve.

It's one of my basics. And it always works.

Here's to a happy you! : )

Happy #68: Make some plans.

The Scotland countryside on a perfectly grey day. I plan to go back. Soon.

Twelve years ago my friend Peggy read the excerpt below (found in Time and the Art of Living, by Robert Grudin) in a magazine, then cut it out. She said it reminded her of me (I'm a planner), and that it made such an impact on her she wanted to keep it. Possibly forever. ;-)

Peggy reports, all these years later, she learned from watching me that planning can make you free. It's one of the five basic tools I prescribe for happiness: have something to look forward to. Needless to say, whether I actually do them or not, I plan lots of things to look forward to. Peg has kept the clipping in the front of her planner all these years.

During our conversation this evening about life and love, pain and heartache, the pursuit of happiness, the gift serving someone daily can be, and how difficult it is to stay focused on creating a meaningful life when you are hurting (for whatever reason), Peggy remembered this clipping and read it again to me.

“We alternately envy, praise and despise those people who plan ahead, who keep precise calendars of when they will be where, seeing whom and doing what. Yet in all these posturings, we tend to ignore a benefit of their behavior that is at once the simplest and the most spiritual: They can escape despair. They have cast towlines out to the future and can, when necessary, drag themselves through a becalmed or stormy present. And they have peopled the wilderness of things to come with images of themselves in action or relaxation.

People suspect that planning will shackle them, but this is almost never the case. If you make plans, you may always diverge from them, committing what is itself a pleasant act of freedom. If you do not make plans, you leave the future an empty field of change, forfeit to your own unpredictable moods. And you imply to yourself that the other two dimensions of time, past and present, mean less to you than they might or should.”

Enough said.

Make some plans. And give yourself something to look forward to.

With love from me to you. : )

Happy #67: Follow your own advice.

Wow. Has it really been over a month since I posted last? That is just wrong. ;-) Especially since I have SO many cool things to share with you.

Simply stated for the time being though, I've been following my own advice. (I highly recommend it.)

And in the process, I have had rich and wonderful and miraculous experiences having to do with living life well regardless of what life is throwing at you, and how to make changes so you feel better and life actually is better.

It's all in the gratitude, serving others, and in being willing to look at what else may be there at any given moment--as opposed to what you may be inclined to think (maybe perceive is a better word) is there...

Stay tuned. :-)

I love you.

Kathleen