Ok, I'm going apologize right now for how sappy this post may sound. But part of what makes this blog meaningful (at least for me) is my willingness to be honest about what I'm feeling at the time while sharing with you what helps me feel better.
This last month has been a very busy one. Getting my daughter prepared to go into the mission field was an exceptionally busy time. And busyness has a way of distracting you from emotion. Which can be good. So I didn't really have a ton of time to think about what was happening, or consider the emotion surrounding it.
Knowing the tidal wave that was headed my way, a friend offered to pay for me to take a trip. All expenses included. It was the most incredible gesture of kindness and generosity I think I've ever experienced. And while I was away (having left town the day after Kelsie reported to the MTC), I was distracted from the reality of having both my daughters gone. And distracted from the emotions that are a part of that reality...
But the train I was on (quite literally as I journeyed around England and France) had to arrive at it's destination eventually. And when the it did, at 5:30 this morning, the tidal wave I was running from caught up to me.
Waking up and feeling the weight of it, I cried and cried. I tried to think my way out of it. I tried to busy myself with everything that needs my attention here at home. Nothing helped.
That's when I got on my knees and prayed.
In the moments that followed, I was reminded that turning to the Source of peace, our Savior Jesus Christ, we can find the comfort we need when nothing else works. The words to this hymn (Where can I turn for peace) came to mind.
Where can I turn for peace?
Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,
I draw myself apart,
Searching my soul?
Where, when my aching grows,
Where, when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand?
He, only One.
He answers privately,
Reaches my reaching
In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind,
Love without end.
Text: Emma Lou Thayne
When I began to feel peace through the One who is my source, the next thought I had was of gratitude. Naturally, my thoughts turned to the people in my life. And I was able to see the enormous outpouring of love and support that came through Him at the hands of my family and friends in my time of need.
I wrote a huge paragraph here sharing everything everyone has done recently that served to uplift me this morning. When it turned into a publishable book, I decided to let you all know personally and in private. :)
But let me just this: You make a difference. A big one.
Thank you.
I feel your love.
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Thanks for your comments as I can totally relate to the feelings you have expressed. I am grateful that someone understood how you felt and were able to help you- Have fun traveling!
ReplyDeleteWendy Watts
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ReplyDeleteTo an amazing woman, willing to share her life with the world, I thank you from the tips of my toes. We come from amazing women, to make us the amazing women we are. Each of them in their own way was or is connected.
ReplyDeleteThe things I learned at Grandma Campbell's knee have served me my whole life.
Her amazing example of service to her God has served us all well, whether we learned it from our own mothers, or from her, we are blessed.
Everyday I click on your blog to see what pearls you have to share. Thank you.
Wendy, thank you. It's nice to hear from you on here! :)
ReplyDeleteAnd my dear Cayt, the novel size paragraph I spoke of in this post (which I didn't end up including because it was so long) began with you. I said, "Daily I feel encouraged by my beautiful cousin Cathie. She lives in Canada and I haven't seen her in over 25 years. But I feel strengthened by her. She completely unaware of good she does for me." I love you!