Happy #15: Forgive.

It's my mother's birthday today. She died in early June almost seven years ago. And I wish I could have forgiven her in life like I was able to forgive her in death.

Maybe it's that she was never really honest about her life and the impact of her choices on the lives of her children until she was dying. (I believe forgiveness is only possible with truth.) Maybe it was that I had let go of the hope she would ever be a mother to me by the time she was dying. Maybe it was a combination of the two.

Sparing you the details of why it was so difficult to forgive her, I'd like to offer this:

Parents are people. They make mistakes. Like me. Like you. And I think all the mistakes, errors in judgement, personality differences, or whatever it might be aside, parents are doing the best they know to do.

The same goes for all of us, really.

Forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to stay in something and continue being hurt by them. Quite the opposite. Occasionally we have to learn to choose away from hurtful people/relationships/situations. Oddly enough, sometimes it's just that sort of honesty in choosing change that makes forgiveness possible.

But finding forgiveness and letting someone be where they are (even if it means stepping away), opens you. And enlarges you.

And that's always worth the exercise.

Because forgiveness frees the soul.

And what could be better than having a free, REALLY BIG soul? :-)

Supersize me baby.